Vulnerability
Vulnerability
the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
The possibility of being attacked, exposed or harmed. Makes you wonder why so many people dislike the thought of being opening themselves up to others. We often hid behind our armor in the hopes that it protects us. In some people that armor is often impenetrable. It gives that person a false sense of security, but in return nobody ever gets to see what's really inside. All we see is that cast iron exterior, void of any emotion. For some people the armor was the result of being hurt or abused. For others it was toughness.
My armor was thick when I was younger. The more a person pried, the thicker my armor would become. That was result of me not being able to trust. Because of my introversion, I had a difficult time trusting anybody. My secrets, my desires and thoughts were for those that I felt were worthy of knowing them. Unfortunately, those people were few and far between. That's why my vulnerability so difficult, it was the uncertainty and fear.
Would I be rejected? Would I be made fun of? Would I be considered weak? Was I capable of being there for that person in a time of need? Was I afraid to fail? In school, I never spoke up. I rarely asked a question or expressed an opinion.
My lack of vulnerability was the reason I couldn't grow. I was stagnating in the comfort that I held on for far to long. Without growth, I couldn't maintain relationships. In the beginning things would be fine, but overtime the growth would bascially stop. I didn't feel comfortable being called out on things. If it was something really uncomfortable, I go into my shell. Sadly I never learned from my mistakes. I kept repeating the same things over and over. Finally something had to give. I think I was a very toxic relationship that finally made me say that I needed to stand up for myself. I had to go out of my comfort zone and stop hiding behind my armor.
It took time for me to finally take off that armor. It wasn't easy, because, well it made me vulnerable. I can be nervous and hesitant when it comes asking something personal. I can cry about something that I desired or wanted badly. I can say that I screwed up or failed. I had to be open to criticism and judgment. Yes it might cause some stress and anxiety, but that's part of growing, the pain.
Brene Brown used he phrase Daring Greatly is from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic.” The speech, sometimes referred to as “The Man in the Arena,” was delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910. This is the passage that made the speech famous:
the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
The possibility of being attacked, exposed or harmed. Makes you wonder why so many people dislike the thought of being opening themselves up to others. We often hid behind our armor in the hopes that it protects us. In some people that armor is often impenetrable. It gives that person a false sense of security, but in return nobody ever gets to see what's really inside. All we see is that cast iron exterior, void of any emotion. For some people the armor was the result of being hurt or abused. For others it was toughness.
My armor was thick when I was younger. The more a person pried, the thicker my armor would become. That was result of me not being able to trust. Because of my introversion, I had a difficult time trusting anybody. My secrets, my desires and thoughts were for those that I felt were worthy of knowing them. Unfortunately, those people were few and far between. That's why my vulnerability so difficult, it was the uncertainty and fear.
Would I be rejected? Would I be made fun of? Would I be considered weak? Was I capable of being there for that person in a time of need? Was I afraid to fail? In school, I never spoke up. I rarely asked a question or expressed an opinion.
My lack of vulnerability was the reason I couldn't grow. I was stagnating in the comfort that I held on for far to long. Without growth, I couldn't maintain relationships. In the beginning things would be fine, but overtime the growth would bascially stop. I didn't feel comfortable being called out on things. If it was something really uncomfortable, I go into my shell. Sadly I never learned from my mistakes. I kept repeating the same things over and over. Finally something had to give. I think I was a very toxic relationship that finally made me say that I needed to stand up for myself. I had to go out of my comfort zone and stop hiding behind my armor.
It took time for me to finally take off that armor. It wasn't easy, because, well it made me vulnerable. I can be nervous and hesitant when it comes asking something personal. I can cry about something that I desired or wanted badly. I can say that I screwed up or failed. I had to be open to criticism and judgment. Yes it might cause some stress and anxiety, but that's part of growing, the pain.
Brene Brown used he phrase Daring Greatly is from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic.” The speech, sometimes referred to as “The Man in the Arena,” was delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910. This is the passage that made the speech famous:
It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly . . . who at best knows the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.
she also added "vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in."
It's a shame that some people will refuse to enter the arena. They'll stand on the sidelines, perferring to hide behind others. I see myself entering the arena. I'm a little stress and there's some tightness in my chest. But I take a deep breath, close my eyes and I'll say to myself "Everything will ok, regardless if you win or lose.
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